;❧

Thursday, January 1414.1.10

the cold,hard truth is:im not only tired cause i dont get enough sleep.and im not looking tired cause of that too.and im not pulling a long face cause of that too.

going through adolescence,buried under homework,clinging onto memories,parents getting on my nerves,and just i hate evrth altogether.

im alrdy in a very rebellious and tired mood,yet i have to put up a facade and climb out from under the homework,and climb out from the memories,and climb out from adolescence.

i wanna scream.i feel like im really losing it.

im so drained out.

how come im still not dead from being emptied of every single thing in me?

i changed my mind.i dont wanna go to mental hospital.i wanna go to somewhere where theres no one and scream until i die of having nth else at all in me.

today in the canteen during lunchtime,i was queuing up for a snack when my legs started trembling for no reason.its really shaking like im going to fall.i tried to stop it but cant.after a while it was better,but when i got the snack,god that was hella hot!my fingers were burning in pain,practically.and then at that time,my legs were trembling like it was before again.i was like thinking how my legs could tremble.then i think i know why.

because,the physical pain was linked with the mental pain without any knowledge.

i was mentally pained when i was making my way to the canteen.

and physically too,my finger.it just reminds me of you again,when i dont want it to.

so that would probably explain.

TIRED is really a great word for me now.

cause im tired of and tired in evrth.

positivity is probably sth i cant do,period.

the only thing i will never let myself do is:wallow in degenaration.

cause i dont wanna end up like ry and hurt ppl's hearts by changing into a stranger.

i alrdy suck enough.

i dont wanna be a sucker further.

5th le right?

i know you're seriously not having this easy.

but sometimes things cant be changed when they alrdy happened

i know im not in any better case to say things like that to you.

but im still able to be in an okay mood.

you might say,"you are so much more better off than me.

you arent me,you wont understand how i feel."

i know i dont.

but still,treat it as you're trying to not be a sucker,(as you said you are though i dont agree)

for the sake of all your friends and family,okay?

cheerup okays,i'll be by your side((:

iloveyou<3...

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just another girl next door ;

MH,Meimei,Huihui,Panda,Hestia,Hest,and whatever nice nickname you could come up with.xD
She bit her way out of her cocoon on 26 September,a day to remember ♥
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